I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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