hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I deserve this hangover.
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