Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
operation harelip BJ is a go
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
