the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
