she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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