Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
