I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
