I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
