We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
