why didn't you poke me back
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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