It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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