my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
