Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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