i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover