Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later. http://tfl.nu/r27t

Replies (24) Good night (4184) Bad night (1190)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

She acts like you when your on meds

(510): View more from California

She acts like batman?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9

Replies (17) Good night (6539) Bad night (942)
Favorite
(904): View more from Florida

i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(904): i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps http://tfl.nu/x84f

Replies (85) Good night (6416) Bad night (612)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller http://tfl.nu/2xod

Replies (9) Good night (2739) Bad night (837)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/aqse

Replies (23) Good night (1302) Bad night (8915)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst

Replies (4) Good night (2633) Bad night (929)
Favorite
(407): View more from Florida

You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(407): You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear. http://tfl.nu/lhty

Replies (4) Good night (3389) Bad night (862)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

(904): View more from Florida

So when does your new flight leave?

(734): View more from Michigan

At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le

Replies (8) Good night (2045) Bad night (792)
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number. http://tfl.nu/1xqc

Replies (6) Good night (1823) Bad night (903)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at. http://tfl.nu/pftw

Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (492)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence http://tfl.nu/qzxi

Replies (3) Good night (1760) Bad night (709)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr" http://tfl.nu/5atv

Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (322)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Great they tried to bail me out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): How did work go after you told them you were in jail? (402): Great they tried to bail me out. http://tfl.nu/vh27

Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (302)
Favorite
(573): View more from Missouri

She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(573): She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home. http://tfl.nu/u8ri

Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (356)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

my entire left arm went numb

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): my entire left arm went numb (1-615): you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms http://tfl.nu/7l90

Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (382)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard