I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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