Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (687)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (3093)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

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  (440): We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night. http://tfl.nu/4khi
  Replies (34) Good night (4558) Bad night (742)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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  (717): My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential. http://tfl.nu/qhq9
  Replies (23) Good night (965) Bad night (4761)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.

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  (763): I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like. http://tfl.nu/kktd
  Replies (9) Good night (812) Bad night (3639)
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  (310): View more from California

  can your parents tell?

  (310): View more from California

  i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

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  (310): can your parents tell? (310): i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know http://tfl.nu/rda5
  Replies (26) Good night (9651) Bad night (1544)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life

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  (469): Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life http://tfl.nu/9mja
  Replies (15) Good night (780) Bad night (4903)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up

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  (662): i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up http://tfl.nu/hogm
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (2085)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.

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  (508): $100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me. http://tfl.nu/si9y
  Replies (16) Good night (2527) Bad night (563)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...

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  (239): His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during... http://tfl.nu/a1a1
  Replies (11) Good night (649) Bad night (2713)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  He smells so good today

  (1-641): View more from Iowa

  Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.

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  (641): He smells so good today (1-641): Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit. http://tfl.nu/5jte
  Replies (13) Good night (2129) Bad night (719)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar

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  (740): You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar http://tfl.nu/iv8a
  Replies (8) Good night (622) Bad night (1996)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.

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  (917): Using Michelob Ultra as champagne. http://tfl.nu/k4qo
  Replies (4) Good night (406) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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  (321): Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after? http://tfl.nu/icc6
  Replies (8) Good night (923) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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  (701): Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich. http://tfl.nu/pg0v
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (225)

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