Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.