In the future we'll all be gay
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.