ADVERTISEMENT

• (830): View more from Texas

  You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin

  Fav 7 1176 2023

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

  Fav 11 5676 2256

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.

  Fav 8 3494 1248

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

  Fav 3 948 1038

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.

  Fav 8 1545 908

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.

  Fav 6 1127 590

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

  Fav 2 1204 903

  share tweet
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.

  Fav 3 945 536

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet

  Fav 4 635 659

  share tweet
  
• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

  Fav 5 597 423

  share tweet
  

• (706): View more from Georgia

  Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.

  Fav 3 388 605

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  How do u even exfoliate your vagina

  Fav 5 238 242

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM

  Fav 2 28 44

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷

  Fav 0 51 11

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.

  Fav 1 31 32

  share tweet
  

Randomize