I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
