He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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