Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Randomize
