Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
