i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize