I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
