I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
