just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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