I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
