If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
