my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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