i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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