Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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