the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
