OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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