I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
