I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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