how can u be prego again
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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