dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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