guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We left the knife in your bed.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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