you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.