Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"