I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality