She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize