Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.

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(678): Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry. http://tfl.nu/8kmb

Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (1253)
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(630): View more from Illinois

do you know how bad I want you right now?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

(630): View more from Illinois

is that a hint?

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(630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8

Replies (11) Good night (760) Bad night (3305)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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(401): Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out. http://tfl.nu/h447

Replies (10) Good night (4783) Bad night (618)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

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(780): The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day. http://tfl.nu/xftd

Replies (20) Good night (5280) Bad night (1232)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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(781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2

Replies (33) Good night (10160) Bad night (1015)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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(630): Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit. http://tfl.nu/nygb

Replies (33) Good night (4172) Bad night (1410)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.

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(248): We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer. http://tfl.nu/kn8l

Replies (8) Good night (3380) Bad night (1192)
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(443): View more from Maryland

THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.

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(443): THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED. http://tfl.nu/dr1s

Replies (13) Good night (2207) Bad night (1430)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.

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(612): Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things. http://tfl.nu/vads

Replies (9) Good night (4132) Bad night (1475)
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(716): View more from New York

I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

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(716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f

Replies (5) Good night (3215) Bad night (1216)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.

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(630): Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms. http://tfl.nu/uuzs

Replies (13) Good night (798) Bad night (2285)
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(916): View more from California

You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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(916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu

Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (1696)
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(716): View more from New York

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?

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(716): Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose? http://tfl.nu/8x2f

Replies (13) Good night (745) Bad night (1595)
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(408): View more from California

I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.

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(408): I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms. http://tfl.nu/0beo

Replies (2) Good night (412) Bad night (583)
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(607): View more from New York

WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"

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(607): WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!" http://tfl.nu/33ys

Replies (5) Good night (340) Bad night (610)

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