Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
