Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming

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(303): View more from Colorado

he thought i was a dude.

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(510): View more from California

He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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(416): View more from Ontario

you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(562): View more from California

I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

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(366): View more from

After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.

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