Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/2rn9
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (1941)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6479) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk. http://tfl.nu/mb8o
  Replies (37) Good night (1261) Bad night (5524)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky http://tfl.nu/0cqb
  Replies (27) Good night (3127) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0
  Replies (51) Good night (7728) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy
  Replies (10) Good night (2047) Bad night (3706)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ux11
  Replies (9) Good night (2798) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed http://tfl.nu/2i1h
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Who the fuck is this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake (1-561): Who the fuck is this http://tfl.nu/nqou
  Replies (13) Good night (4798) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one. http://tfl.nu/ad80
  Replies (9) Good night (1179) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (682) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties. http://tfl.nu/4gzc
  Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs http://tfl.nu/4xpf
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol. http://tfl.nu/oqf8
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (283)

Randomize