So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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