i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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