I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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