you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
