nut hugger
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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