I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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