Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
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He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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