Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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