I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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