Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
