These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just gargled with NyQuil
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
