yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you didnt know i had herpes?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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