after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
