I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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