That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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