oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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