dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
