I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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