I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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