Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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