i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
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Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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