the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
