But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
