I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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